Thu 21 Jun 2018
5 Questions To Deepen Your Allyship
Posted by Sierra.Wells
I am the eldest daughter of a residential school survivor woman and a 1st generation Canadian man.
When I first started working as a Child Protection Mediator I thought I was going to make an epic impact and change the process of mediation to better support the Indigenous people involved with MCFD. Boy, was I surprised!
I realized I had to prove my worth to a mediation table of non-Indigenous lawyers and social workers. They were used to how things had been run up to this point. I often questioned myself and wondered: when will they realize I am a fake and take this role away?
The people I yearn to support and work with are not the ones that I had to prove myself to. Almost always, the family appeared relieved and or surprised to see a “familiar face” in charge of the process.
For most of my adult life I fully supported the hope and dream of most Indigenous people to be self-sufficient: “Indigenous Services for Indigenous People.” Unfortunately at this time there just is not the capacity to ensure that Indigenous people are serviced by Indigenous services. We need to rely on the support of non-Indigenous people.
We need to connect with our allies.
Over the last while I have had the privilege to meet some amazing allies. What makes these people allies? For me it is about how they present themselves in the world and the self-reflection they engage in on a daily basis.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself to help you deepen your allyship:
Am I Walking with Integrity?
Integrity is doing what you say you are going to do. That old walk the talk. Even when it’s the tough call. This is important because Indigenous peoples’ experience is riddled with many broken promises.
Am I Acting with Respect?
Being respectful means acknowledging that you do not know or understand other people’s pain and experience. It means including people in decisions that impact them; no more doing to them. After all, it is human to seek self-determination.
Am I Speaking with Gentleness?
To speak with gentleness is to be honest and non-judgmental. It also means to speak plainly (jargon-free) without patronizing.
Am I Being Curious and Authentic?
We all know the adage “don’t judge a book by its cover.” As an ally you may to have to demonstrate how you are different than your “cover”. Ask questions – do not assume that all Indigenous people have the same lived experience! Ask “How can I be helpful? What do you need from me to make this work?” Do not pretend to be anything that you are not. Be honest about your experience with Indigenous people, whether big or small.
Am I Aware of My Own Privilege?
How others perceive us is an important part of how we move through the world. Think about things like physical appearance, which alone can carry and convey privilege. You may not have direct control over it and it is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to be aware of it and consider how others may perceive and relate to you.
Since I opened my mind to meeting new people and trying new experiences, I am always meeting new allies. People who are wishing to be a support, but may not know where or how to start. Supporting you to become allies is one way I can help ensure that the services that are being provided to Indigenous peoples and families are culturally appropriate and sensitive.
I am honoured that these allies have come into my life and look forward to working with them.
Guest blogger Sierra Wells is a member of the Wuikinuxv people of Rivers Inlet with a background in Child and Youth Care. She has a busy practice as a Child Protection Roster Mediator, Family Group Conference Coordinator and workplace mediator in Victoria, BC.
June 21st is National Indigenous Peoples Day in Canada. This is a day for all Canadians to recognize and celebrate the unique heritage, diverse cultures and outstanding contributions of First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples. Learn more.
